By Your Side
by TMark260
Summary: What if Naruto never came back from the Valley of the End? To die at the hands of the man you thought was your best friend. How will this impact Sakura, knowing her teammate died trying to fulfill his promise to her? Knowing that neither teammate will be around for her anymore? All alone, she turns to her oldest friend, and slowly the wounds begin to heal. The wounds of guilt.
1. Requiem

**Notes:**

 **No I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. This is a work of fiction and is meant to be treated as such. This story is crossposted to Ao3. Yes it diverges from canon.**

Nothing but the silent whispering of the wind, the strangely uncomfortable rays of sunlight. The air was thick with tension, despite no one else being around. Yet alone, atop the balcony, stood a despondent kunoichi, her head hung low. Soft, lustrous pink hair, her forehead protector being used as a makeshift hairband.

"I hope… I hope they come back soon," Sakura whispered softly, the weight in her chest unwavering. She had confidence, at least that's what she told herself, time and time again, repeating it like a mantra. She knew he would bring Sasuke back. It's just… She didn't know when. The anticipation was killing her, and she hadn't left this spot for the last few hours.

Naruto would come back, Sasuke in tow, in process redeeming him, absolving him of his sins. If there was one person in the position to succeed, it had to be him. Hadn't it always been that way? Naruto. Always Naruto. Just hours ago, she had said the same. The memories came crashing in, overwhelming her ability to rationalize, to reason with reality. Her unadulterated plea for salvation, her one request.

* * *

 _"Naruto! I beg you!" Sakura cried, her eyes tightly shut in agony. Tear after tear rolled down her delicate face, splashing on the ground inaudibly. Even without her words, the sight was gut-wrenching. A glimpse of the searing agony lain her heart as she spoke. "Please… Please bring Sasuke-kun back!"_

 _In response, the blond remained silent, his bright azure eyes wide with surprise. He had never seen such a volatile, vulnerable side to the girl he crushed on. Even if bringing Sasuke back would mean more competition, there was absolutely no way he could ignore her unadulterated plea. Just no way._

 _"I couldn't do it…" Sakura sniffed, choking on fresh tears as she spoke. "I couldn't stop him! The only person… Who can probably save Sasu_ ke-kun now is you… Naruto!"

* * *

She let out a sigh. There was no use in dwelling on memories, she told herself. She knew. She knew Naruto wouldn't fail. She could see them together again, her, Sasuke and Naruto, laughing together. As if nothing ever went wrong.

As if everything was alright.

"But…" She whispered, unknowingly, by pure instinct. The hole in her heart burned with each passing second, refuting herself. It hurt to think about her request. It hurt to think of Naruto and Sasuke. Something… Something was wrong. The pink haired ninja shuddered, for the first time feeling true doubt. A break in her conviction. She hoped it was all just a passing thought. That her worries would be put to rest. Nothing was wrong, after all, right? Everything was just a horrible nightmare, a horrible joke. Just days ago, everything was fine. Sure, Sasuke was bedridden from his encounter with Itachi, but it was still small compared to this.

This tragedy.

She must have lost track of time, lost track of her surroundings, until the sound of incoming footsteps caught her attention.

"Sakura!" Spoke the loud, feminine voice, immediately recognizable, catching the pink haired ninja's attention.

Running to her was Ino, her childhood best friend and rival. Her silky blonde hair down to hip length, her expression an odd contrast to Sakura's own despondent face. At least the news would be uplifting… Hopefully.

"Ino?" Sakura asked quietly. She hadn't really found the will to speak.

"It looks like everyone's back!" Ino exclaimed, cheerful and happy.

"Everyone…" Sakura paused. She knew what that word meant. "They're alive…"

"Come on now, let's go to the hospital!" Ino clamored, quickly running off, Sakura just behind her.

Before she knew it, she was at the hospital, with the receptionist desk right in front of her eyes. She had hoped that this would answer her questions, would ease her worries. That this nightmare would soon be over.

"Excuse me, what are the rooms for…" Ino began, hurriedly asking the receptionist.

"The Genin that just came back from the mission?" The medical ninja finished for her. It seemed word traveled fast. Rarely did Genin ever need such medical treatment. They were seldom sent on such dangerous missions.

"Yes," Sakura responded, on both of their behalfs. "Please tell us."

"Nara Shikamaru and Akimichi Chouji are both in the West Wing," she began, pointing at the floor plan for their room numbers. Ino breathed a sigh of relief in response. Her teammates would be alright.

"Hyuga Neji and Inuzukua Kiba are both in the East Wing," she continued. Although neither Ino or Sakura were close friends, they were still their comrades, classmates, and Chunin exam rivals. A slight smile of relief on both their faces.

A pause. Was that all there was?

 _No…_

"Wait!" Sakura exclaimed, the hole in her heart suddenly igniting, her searing agony rearing its ugly head once more. "What about… What about Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke?"

A look of confusion crossed the receptionist's face. She took a second look at the book. Her expression… Her expression did not change. She wasn't wrong. The names would not lie to her, nor would her eyes.

At least, that was the logical outcome Sakura could derive.

"We didn't hear anything about an Uzumaki Naruto or an Uchiha Sasuke…" She spoke, conservative and quiet. Something about the kunoichi's eyes, wide with shock and confusion, caused the receptionist to hesitate to speak more. Thankfully for her, Sakura remained silent, wide-eyed.

Ino on the other hand, didn't know what to say. She saw Sakura begin to tremble, ever so slightly. It made her feel guilty that her own teammates were safe, but Sakura would know nothing about Naruto and Sasuke. The blonde merely looked on in worry, a hand by her heart, her aquamarine eyes wide with concern.

"Sakura…" She whispered, placing a hand on her friend's shoulder, which trembled very slightly. She didn't know how to go by this, but she wanted to see her teammates. Slowly, she found the will to speak.

"I'm going to go see Chouji and Shikamaru…" Ino whispered. Instantly, the blonde felt guilty for her words. She knew that her teammates were alright. She did want to see them. But part of her also wanted to escape the tense situation, escape the uncertainty, the air thick with tension. It was unfair, but it was too much, too stifling for the blonde.

"I…I'll go…" Sakura began, trembling as she spoke, struggling to maintain a level of calmness in her voice to no avail. Her voice broke on every word, her breathing accelerating. "N-Naruto and S-Sasuke-kun… Are… Are definitely… Are definitely h-here… They're definitely…"

But she never got that far. Her voice lacked strength, drive, lacked the will to continue. It was as if the worst of her nightmares was waiting to come to life. Like Kami if he existed was laughing at her, mocking her inability to grasp fate and life. It was too much. There was no way… No way that her worst suspicions would be confirmed… Would they?

"Um… I'll see you later," Ino spoke quickly, breaking into large strides as she left for the West Wing. Her voice was reluctant, fueled by doubt.

No doubt she wanted out. But Sakura didn't have the same option.

"I…I…" Sakura stammered, feeling the tears begin to form at the corners of her emerald eyes. Slowly, she took reluctant steps, mindlessly, aimlessly. She didn't know what to make of the situation. The mere weight of uncertainty was too much. Far too much. Slowly, her steps broke into larger strides. Strides of panic. Strides of fear. Nothing but the flame in her heart that pushed her onward. She was afraid. She was terrified. But there was no use in worrying, no use in dwelling on the uncertainty. She had to… She had to know.

 _It can't be..._

The figure slowly came into focus. Silver hair, flak jacket. The man was undoubtly handsome. Her sensei, the man who had protected her and her teammates several times.

"Kakashi-Sensei!" Sakura yelled, worried and rough. "Where is… Where…"

"Sakura…" He spoke, his brooding voice marred very slightly by guilt and shame. Something was very wrong. That man never showed such emotions.

"Kakashi-Sensei!" Sakura panted, looking down at the ground, her hands on her knees as she breathed heavily. "Where are… Where…?

Then she saw it.

In the man, her teacher's arms, laid a figure, instantly recognizable, instantly identifiable. Radiant blond hair, beautiful azure eyes. What gave him his unique feature were the three whiskers, on both cheeks. Trademark orange jumpsuit with a splash of blue. But that wasn't what she saw. His blond hair, matted with blood, disheveled. His trademark excited grin, gone. Those azure eyes were clouded. His happy-go-lucky expression that she had been so used to; replaced by nothing. Expressionless. Lifeless.

"N…Naru…To?" She gasped. She saw it. A hole in his chest, blood streaming down his orange jumpsuit. His eyes, though lifeless, were agonized. Or so they appeared. Blood trickled down the corners of his mouth, which was tightly shut. For someone who was normally so loud and energetic, this was impossible. Unless… He was dead. He was gone. Not a single shred of life remained in the energetic blond she had grown so used to. That she had taken for granted. He had failed to keep his promise. But that didn't matter right now.

Because Naruto didn't need her anymore.

"N…No…No… I…I…" Sakura stammered, overwhelmed by the sight, the crashing memories. She remembered it all. Her plea. His promise. The smile on his face, the thumbs up. He said he would bring Sasuke back without fail.

Now she didn't even have the luxury of seeing Naruto again.

"Who…Who did… This…?" Sakura trembled, choking on the tears that now streamed down her face. He couldn't have… He… He wouldn't…

"This… This hole…" Kakashi murmured, lifeless. "Chidori…"

 _Chidori. That means…_

"No!" Sakura gasped, covering her visage with both hands, tears threatening to fall, wide-eyed in terror. "No… No It can't be… Why…"

She knew what that meant. Unacceptable. Unforgivable. How could he do this? Just… Just a while back, they were laughing, them three. But now it was all gone. Vanished in the blink of an eye. The fading memory seemed nothing more than wishful thinking, a mere dream now.

One that wasn't meant to last.

"K-Kakashi-S-Sensei?" Sakura stammered, confused, melancholic, terrified, everything. So many emotions were assailing her at once. She had no idea what to say. She swore she'd be crying, breaking down. But she wasn't. She was still in too much shock. "This… This is a dream…" She whispered. "It… It has to be… No… No way this could…No… He wouldn't… He couldn't have…" Sakura coughed, suddenly feeling the first pang of nauseau, threatening to push her over the edge. Instinctively, she found her hand on the wall, something to stabilize her as she lost her grip on reality. "I… What have… I done…?

"Sakura, it's not your fault," Kakashi spoke, attempting to sound reassuring. But there was nothing the man could say that would calm her down. Nothing he could do to sunder the guilt lain within. "I…I never should have let him go. I shouldn't have taught him…"

 _It's my fault._

"No…" Sakura responded, slowly finding the will to speak, taking care not to let the nausea overwhelm her. "I… It's…"

 _My fault._

She knew. To deny would be to lie.

"Sakura-chan, you really like Sasuke, huh?" Naruto asked, a cheery façade blanketing the face. A face that masked the inner turmoil; He wanted to save Sasuke as a friend. But would Sakura ever acknowledge him?

* * *

" _I know how much pain you're in because of Sasuke," Naruto continued, his monotone voice unbetraying his stoic façade. "I can understand."_

 _A brief pause in her incessant crying. She recalled the time she told Sasuke that Naruto didn't understand her. She could see just how wrong she was. Just how much Naruto understood her from the bottom of his heart. She never thought he'd be giving his life for her._

" _Naruto…" Sakura cried, holding her arms, trembling in agony. Her mind was racing, one-tracked, focusing solely on the cherished memory of Sasuke by her side. She didn't see anything else. "Thank you."_

 _Naruto smiled, masking the weight lain in his heart. It was a small price to pay, he told himself. To sacrifice a piece of his happiness for the girl he loved._

" _Don't worry, I'll bring him back!" The boy grinned, holding a thumbs up to the crying kunoichi. Not a sign of hurt in his façade. "Promise of a lifetime!"_

* * *

Reality came back, overtaking the haze of memories she already wanted to forget. She, alone, sent Naruto off, told him to bring Sasuke back. Just another request. But he wasn't coming back. He couldn't do it. He died for her, and she had never acknowledged him. Until now. Because now that he was gone, there was no one left in her life. The boy she took for granted for so long would never come back. And he would never need her again.

"No…No…" Sakura stammered, choking, having to suppress the urge to throw up right then and there. She didn't think she could hold it in anymore. "It's all…It's… It's my fault…"

"Sakura…"

"No!" She screamed, taking off at blinding speed, her mind racing, threatening to go haywire, to break the boundaries into insanity. "Why? How could… Why would he kill…"

 _It's all my fault._

"Stop!" Sakura screamed, clutching her head, digging into her scalp as she fell, scraping her knees at high speed. But that pain was minimal. That was the equivalent of floating on a pool of water. She'd take it. Take it a hundred times. Take it and be grateful. Not like the soul-crushing guilt in her heart. Driven by pure instinct to run, she found the strength to stand again. Reality passed in a blur, and she wasn't quite sure where she was anymore. All she knew was that she wanted to run. Where to, no one would have known. If she could escape reality, or run from what she hoped was a dream, she'd do anything.

But that wasn't an option.

"H-Hey, Sakura!" Ino yelled, barely catching the glimpse of Sakura's figure dashing out the hospital door. Tears streaming down her face, causing the blonde to shudder. Something went very wrong. "Sakura?! Wait come back!"

But she wasn't listening. Not a word the blonde yelled reached her ringing ears. Her mind was racing, one-tracked. But this time, it wasn't her desire to be with Sasuke again. It wasn't a pining that she merely hoped he'd one day return.

No…

She felt nothing but regret, remorse, self-hate. She felt loneliness.

No one left to stand by her side.


	2. There For You

"No… No… NO!" Sakura coughed, her steps getting faster, her breathing becoming shorter. Every step made her feel worse, but she felt as if standing still would be unbearable. There were no good options left for her, nothing that could be done to quell the flame that ate away at her heart nor the weight that crushed her soul. She couldn't accept it.

"Why… Why did I ever…" She whispered, tears streaming down her face, clouding her vision; unaware of her surroundings. She could have ran into something. It might have hurt. But that pain would be irrelevant. That pain would be akin to feeling soft silk on skin. She'd take it a hundred times. Take it and be grateful.

How different her thoughts were now from just an hour ago. One-tracked in both, yet the differences were stark. All she cared about then was seeing him. All she wanted was to have Sasuke back, to hold him in her arms. To tell him that everything would be alright, that she loved him, and would always support him in all his endeavors.

But that wasn't the case anymore. Far from it.

Wracked with guilt, consumed with fear, the kunoichi didn't know what to do. There was nothing she could do to atone, nothing she could do to sunder the guilt that bottled in her threatening to burst. Naruto was gone. He had no family. There was not a single person she could apologize to. Who would absolve her of her sins now?

"W…Why?! Why did I ask him…?! I'm so stupid!" She screamed, finally out of breath, panting, her heart grinding against her chest violently, each breath bringing in fire. Yet her tears did not stop. Her guilt did not waver. All she could think about was her teammate's smiling face, his vow to bring Sasuke back. But it would be quickly tainted by the vision of his dead body just minutes ago. All the blood, all the wounds. The mortifying imagery made her sick to her stomach. It made her hate herself for ever asking so much of someone who she subconsciously knew would do anything for her.

But at last, her legs gave out.

"I'm so…" She whispered, leaning against the nearest wall she found for support. She knew it. As much as she hated to admit it, she knew it. Neither of her teammates had ever directly voiced it, but she always felt it was true. Even if Naruto would never condemn her for it, she knew that Sasuke would have. If he even still cared.

And now, it couldn't be even truer. Not after she literally begged Naruto to save Sasuke on her behalf, admitted weakness in the face of adversity. Time and time again. But there wouldn't _be_ a next try this time around.

Because everyone she resolved to become stronger for were gone.

"I'm so…" She choked, crying uncontrollably, her face in her hands.

" _Useless… Useless!"_ The voice inside screamed, overwhelming her conscious thinking, crushing the crumbled remains of her resolve. She had finally said it. It was a harsh reality she had tried time and time again to deny.

It wouldn't help to acknowledge that fact. Part of her will always say that Naruto would have done this by his own volition. But it didn't mean anything. She still begged him, she still played his feelings. She unknowingly used him, spurred him to chase after a dangerous foe.

One she would never dare to challenge on her own.

"Someone…" She whispered, despondent, defeated. "Save… Me…"

Bright points of light; the sky distorted to an unearthly blend of white and blue; the clouds meshing with the air. She felt the collapse coming. Reality started to fade from her. Then it all vanished, as darkness crept into her vision. Everything went black.

* * *

 _"You really are annoying," he spoke, his voice as cold as ice._

 _The mere venom in his voice was enough to strike fear in Sakura, and she shrunk back by primordial instinct. Where was the Sasuke she knew? Where was the handsome, cool boy she pined after?_

 _Where was he now?_

 _"This can't be. This can't be," she whispered, her soft emerald eyes meeting Sasuke's dark, hate filled ones. She gasped at the sight. That murderous intent was unmistakeable. She could recognize it from anywhere, from anyone. And here he was, staring right at her._

 _Like she meant nothing to him._

 _She blinked once. Then he was right behind her._

 _"Sakura," he whispered, his voice soft like silk. Like some melodic venom. "Thank you."_

* * *

 _No._

 _No!_

 _"Sakura?!" A voice screamed._

 _"Sakura? Are you alright?" The voice became more identifiable._

 _Who was it? It sounded familiar._

 _"Sakura?! Answer me!"_

 _Get up. Get up!_

Her vision slowly came back into focus, as the darkness lifted off her eyes. She called for help, and someone unknowingly had answered it. It was too much to bear on her own. The trauma of losing two dear ones at once; the guilt of knowing she caused it. She saw the figure. Soft, silky blonde hair, almost reaching waist length. Instantly identifiable. "I…Ino…"

Instantly, the blonde reached out a helping hand, the other gently resting on Sakura's figure, trying to help her up. The pink-haired ninja took it without hesitation. She needed someone by her side. As much as she hated it, she was powerless on her own. Even now.

"Sakura! You're alright!" Ino breathed, worried aquamarine depths connecting with her friend's emerald ones. They weren't rivals right now. Just two people trying to share the burden that could not be shouldered by one person alone. "What happened? You collapsed! I saw you crying when you ran out and I… I knew…"

Ino bit her tongue, afraid to speak more. And in that instant, Sakura knew why. She didn't want it to be true, and although she didn't want to admit it, the moment the receptionist spoke those words, logic had dictated the outcome that both feared. "Is it… Is it…"

"Naruto… Is dead," Sakura responded, breathing hard, struggling to keep a degree of composure - the guilt eating away at her. Even now, the grief was almost too much to handle. "H-he… Oh!"

She couldn't finish those words. Every time she thought of his dead body all bloodied, it inevitably linked back to his killer. Sasuke. And every time she thought of him, it brought her back to the promise he made now forever broken.

" _Promise of a lifetime!"_

Sakura heaved, barely able to prevent herself from throwing up right then and there. Nausea assailed her senses. Guilt wracked her conscience. Fear reduced her to a shell. Grief ate away at her heart.

Ino gasped, covering her mouth and nose with her hands. The rawness of it caught Sakura's attentions, and her eyes darted over to her friend. That gasp was surely an involuntary response of shock. But to Sakura's surprise, an unexpected substance met Ino's fingers.

It was a tear.

"Ino?" Sakura, surprised. She knew that Ino was emotional. She knew her friend would be there to share her pain. But to see her moved to tears so soon was not without its cruel irony. That she somehow felt better seeing Ino cry. Not in a spiteful way, but because she knew someone was there for her, _identified_ with her on at least _some level_ when she needed help most. "Oh… I'm…"

"S…Sakura…" Ino whispered, her arms wrapped around her best friend's trembling figure. They rarely hugged. They were rivals. But that didn't mean that they weren't friends. And right now, that was all she could think about. "I'm… I'm so sorry…"

"Ino…" Sakura breathed, finding solace in her friend's arms. Slowly, the guilt became more bearable, the grief became less crushing. "I just… I feel terrible… I…I"

Puzzled, the blonde found respite amidst the tears that were slowly rolling down her cheeks. "Why?"

Sakura bit her tongue; her heart skipped a beat. Would Ino judge her? Condemn her? Crucify her for all her sins? For all her self-proclaimed vows to become stronger, only to rely time and time again on those she could no longer lean on?

Would she?

"I…"

But the blonde would have none of it. "Tell me, Sakura. Please. Don't do this to yourself…" Ino whispered, soft, aquamarine pools painfully identifying with Sakura's; her grip on the kunoichi tightening.

"I… asked… him…" Sakura spoke, very low, very slow. Each word weighed her down, bearing the weight of the world, the weight of remorse. "To… save Sasuke…"

"But… Shikamaru and them were more than willing," Ino responded, a puzzled expression crossing her face. "Naruto would have…"

"He chased after Sasuke alone!" Sakura screamed, the composure disappearing as fast as her words left her mouth. "He promised. I… I shouldn't have urged him…"

"But…"

She couldn't take it anymore. Even if Ino would judge her, the pain of remorse, of soul-crushing guilt, was far too much to handle. If she couldn't be absolved of her guilt by the hand of Naruto's lost family, then she'd vindicate herself by speaking the truth. "Ino… Sasuke killed him!"

The blonde stared, wide-eyed, gaping in utter shock. The tears that were so slight now threatened to pour again. She couldn't believe it. "No!"

Sakura whimpered, backing away in crazed stupor. Undiluted fear still coursed through her veins, her mind racing as she watched Ino surely put the puzzle pieces together. The stoic, handsome Uchiha, star of her academy class. Now Naruto's killer. _Him_ of all people. It boggled her mind, as it surely did Ino's.

But at the same time, she recognized identification. She saw shared suffering and support in the eyes of Ino. The same grief and guilt that was bottled up in her friend, standing mere inches from her.

"I…Ino…" Sakura breathed, choking on tears. She instinctively turned away, unable to meet the bewildered gaze of her best friend. Perhaps she was right. She shouldn't have told Ino the truth. Maybe this was really the end of the road for her.

But…

"Sakura…" Ino whispered, her tone very dark and low. Her eyes were clouded, partially obscured by the singular bang of blonde hair. "It's… It's not your fault."

 _It's not my fault._

"H…Huh?" Sakura whispered, wide-eyed in confusion. The words she hoped to hear from someone, right there. The salvation she so desperately desired, even if her heart would forever deny it. "But…"

"Sakura," Ino spoke again, this time firm with conviction. She had to be strong for Sakura right now. Even if she herself was struggling with reconciling the seemingly unbelievable information. Sakura was having it worse. Much, much worse. "Sasuke-kun… No… Sasuke is not the boy we thought we knew."

First instinct told Sakura to defend Sasuke. The illogical, irrational side of her would want to forever preserve the fantasy of a perfect boy, in the form of Sasuke Uchiha. But that wasn't the case. She knew better. Ino's words, however painful, were all but false. But despite this, she still blamed herself. She still cursed her inability to do better.

"I'm sorry, Ino…" She whispered, feeling a new form of regret. The blonde's mention of Sasuke brought back memories. Surprisingly, they weren't of Sasuke. She was reminded of the time she broke off the friendship she shared with Ino. All for the sake of chasing after a boy who she now felt was completely alienated and estranged. "I shouldn't have… I shouldn't have fought with you over him."

But the blonde wasn't worried about that. Her aquamarine pools only sought to comfort a friend in need. "It's okay, Sakura."

"But…" Sakura whispered, clinging onto Ino desperately. She had no clue where… No… _How_ to place her feelings right now. But there was one thing she knew for sure. One thing that no one could deny. With both of her teammates gone, there was only one friend left for her. Someone who had been there for her through thick and thin. And she was standing right there, mere inches from her.

 _Thank you, Ino._

"Sakura, let's get you home, okay?" She spoke, gentle yet strong. Right now, her own needs became secondary. Getting her best friend to safety was at the forefront of her mind. Despite her own hurt, Ino immediately acknowledged that it paled in comparison to the searing agony in the pink-haired kunoichi's heart. And so, she would take it. She'd take it and be there for her. Because she still had Shikamaru. She still had Chouji.

But Sakura had no one.

"I…Ino…" Sakura breathed, taking Ino's soft hand. Instantly, she felt much better. She felt the warmth of her friend's hand, the comfort in the familiar feel of it. She had held Ino's hand so many times when they played as young children. She never thought she'd be doing it now at the age of twelve. "T…Thank you…"

"Of course," Ino spoke, finally regaining her own composure. She had a duty. She would see it through. Being there for Sakura, taking care of her friend when she needed help the most. "That's what friends are for."

"Oh… Ino…" Sakura breathed, crying. Ino was far too kind. She knew that Ino was suffering the same as her. She knew her well enough to know the obvious. But it was a knowledge, tainted by guilt, tainted by fear. Guilt that she had abandoned her oldest friend years ago over a bitter rivalry that now paled in comparison. Fear that she would lose someone again. That this time, there would be no one left for her.

"Sakura, don't worry," Ino spoke, attempting to sound reassuring, gently tugging on Sakura's figure, slowly but surely towards her home. "I'll be there for you."

The pink-haired ninja nodded, wiping the tears off her face as she reluctantly followed the blonde, her head hung low, reflecting on the turn of events.

 _I just… There must be something I can do. Something even I can do. Not for myself… But for others…_

 _I don't want to lose anyone else._

 _I don't want to lose Ino too._

She looked to the sky, where the sun shone like a shining beacon of guiding light.

 _Naruto… I know… I know what it must have felt like for you…_

 _Being all alone._

 _I now know what it means._

But it didn't matter anymore. He wasn't coming back. But hopefully, just maybe, things would get better. Small steps.

"Thank you, Ino."


	3. Coming To Terms

**Notes: Sorry for the huge hiatus. I had a ton of issues to work out. I am back on track with writing. Please bear with me, and I hope the story delivers.**

Afternoon slowly crept by, the bright sun darkening to an orange glow. Slowly walking, one step at a time, Sakura remained silent, slow, paying heed only to the pattern of the road, the intricate stones that felt as if leading her further and further from the Konoha hospital. As if running from conflict. As she approached the comfort of what she called home, the roads became familiar once more, as if second nature.

She hadn't had much time to ruminate, to think of where she was going, where Ino had led her. Her mind was still a blank canvas, heavy with the weight of guilt. She hadn't realized that she had arrived at her doorstep.

The familiar wooden frame stood before her. Like every time she had invited Ino over, so many years ago. She let her eyelids fall, and took a deep breath.

* * *

 _"Sakura, I need to be home for dinner," Ino spoke, gently reassuring her pink-haired friend. "Um… If you need anything, tell me. Let me know immediately." Ino continued, her tone as strong as iron. "Please… promise me this."_

 _"Mhm…" Sakura nodded, albeit lifelessly. Her pain was oddly numbed now. For better or worse, she couldn't tell. The world seemed to have lost its colour, but the pain was most definitely bearable now. "I promise. If I need anything, I'll let you know immediately…"_

 _"Thank you," Ino whispered, warmly embracing her friend. "It gets better. I'll be there."_

 _But her trailing figure now became a reminder that she was once again alone. Sakura had never felt so drained. She had cried for hours, and now it felt like there was nothing left in her. No energy to cry, to smile, to scream. But somehow, she found just enough energy to live. Perhaps it would be for the best. Perhaps it would be enough for atonement._

* * *

Eventually her footsteps led her through the door, stepping into the familiar living room and kitchen, dark golden rays of sunlight shining through. No place like home, she felt. It had a strangely calming effect that helped stifle the ache, but only so much. Fatigue assaulted her limbs, screaming at her to sleep, to escape. Forget what happened today, if only for an instance.

But Sakura couldn't. Her mind was uneasy, and however hard she'd will herself to rest, her body would not cooperate. She reached for a cup on the dish rack, reluctant fingers pouring a generous amount of hot water. Sitting down, she finally allowed her mind to rest, lifelessly watching the steam of the water dissipate into the atmosphere. If she just went straight to bed, her parents would most definitely be suspicious. They weren't aware of what happened today, but they did know in abstract what Team 7 meant to their daughter.

Would she have to relive the trauma once more and explain?

Would she have to relive the guilt and weight of atonement once more?

"Naruto…" She whispered, feeling a single tear roll from her lifeless eyes. The pink-haired kunoichi was so exhausted, so drained, so _done_. It took all her willpower just to keep going. Although the initial brunt of the pain had been stifled, she also had to deal with a new harsh reality. With Sasuke gone rogue and Naruto dead, what would be the fate of Team 7?

What would be her fate? Her future? She had never whole-heartedly committed to the life of the Shinobi. It was only after enduring ordeal after ordeal with Sasuke and Naruto that she began to awaken the fiery passion within her. That she realized the significance and honour of laying down one's life for their family, friends, and village.

But with the two of them gone, where would that drive go?

How would she rediscover the passion that once drove her to carry on? And even if she could find it within her once more, a second harsh reality would present itself.

Sasuke was gone. Gone rogue. Never to return to Konoha. Naruto was dead. Never to live out his dream. Never to achieve the rights to Hokage.

Only she and Kakashi would carry on the legacy of the team. Team 7 was no more. Even if she didn't give up, even if she didn't let go of the Shinobi dream, the flame that everyone within the village embodied- carried through their veins, there would still be no foreseeable future for her to live for.

Yet… For the first time, the pain felt bearable. For the first time, she could find the will to bring her tears to a stop. She was hurting. Still hurting like hell.

But that hurt had always only lent itself to adaptation.

Sakura let out a soft sigh, her grip on the cup of water unwavering. She hadn't realized that it was no longer hot. The sun's rays had begun to burn to its darkest before dusk; the water in the cup at a standstill. If she let go of the cup, it would certainly disturb the strange equilibrium amidst what felt like chaos.

To let go would only breed more chaos.

But it was a step in the right direction.

Perhaps the world would never heed her wishes. Perhaps facts would always be difficult to tolerate. Perhaps she would never live up to anything more than someone who would never be able to have a man who had long since abandoned his roots.

But it was worth a try.

Sakura let her emerald depths take rest, almost expecting to find suffering amidst darkness. However, despite her plight, she found the very opposite. She found irony in control. She found some unlikely element of acceptance. Her breathing came to a standstill, as if she had finally felt some semblance of autonomy wash over her.

For the first time in forever. Better late than never.

She didn't open her eyes. She didn't move from her seat. Only listen to the song of the water's movement against the cup. Only listen to the slightest change in each lap against the glass. It was almost inaudible, almost undetectable. Yet it was absolutely there.

And it all came back to her.

 _"It's silly really. Why do I think of these things now?"_

* * *

 _The fog that covered the bridge, that enveloped the sky was wholly unnatural. It was thick, ominous, its very composition, filled to the brim with chakra made her legs tremble. She had seen this before. During their very first encounter._

 _She felt the rush of blood through every vein, felt the individual beads of sweat roll unhindered. She was afraid. The air was icy cold, yet her skin felt like hot liquid, her breathing like wicked flames. Fear coursed through her, untampered and unfettered._

 _Being deprived of the most critical sense would strike primordial fear in anyone._

 _But for Sakura, she felt something she hadn't been expecting to feel._

 _Helplessness._

 _Kakashi must have been somewhere, somewhere far beyond her capacity to detect. But the worse was that she no longer had vision of the target whom she was to protect Tazuna from._

 _Pause._

 _Try to think with reason._

 _Try._

 _She willed herself to slow her breathing, in hope that it may become inaudible._

 _Staring into the mist, she once again found nothing. Wherever her eyes would dart, wherever her vision took her, nothing could be seen. Slowly, she recounted her lessons from the Ninja Academy. Slowly, she remembered being instructed, warned that deprivation of one or more senses within combat was far from abnormal._

 _She remembered it now. But when it came time to keep herself under control, she couldn't do it. She couldn't see. Kakashi. Naruto._

 _… Let alone Sasuke._

 _However hard she would strain her eyes; the wholly unnatural mist would only remind her once more of the plight that had been thrust upon her. How outclassed they, sans Kakashi, really were._

 _Yet despite her inability to see through the mist, one thing remained._

 _The sound of splashing water, the residual, inevitable result of the lightest, quickest steps possible to human told her that she was in fact, not alone._

 _Listen to the sound of the water. Like listening to the song of battle._

 _Listen carefully._

 _Listen._

 _And in the next instant, he was at her throat._

 _…_

* * *

 _I'm not afraid anymore._

When Sakura's senses returned to her, dusk had come upon her. She had woken up to the familiar comfort of her bed, to the familiar confines of her room. Her arms felt numb from clutching the pillow, but nonetheless, she felt some veneer of stability. Maybe it would just be temporary, a brief shelter from a storm. Yet for once today, she felt alright. Lying on her side, her eyes remained locked on the window, where light was quickly retreating beyond the horizon. Soon, night would be upon her. And then dawn would approach, and a new day would take its root.

It was… bittersweet.

She let out a deep breath, letting go of the pillow as her gaze fell from the window to the mattress, her gaze now focused on the ripples of the fabric. She couldn't count past a few without losing count. They were as innumerable as they should have been easily counted.

Two… Three?

She was sure that it was three, yet counting still felt far too difficult. And so, she continued to lie there, staring, thinking about what could have happened. Thinking about what _should_ have happened. The future that she had hoped for.

* * *

 _It was there, like watching an alternate reality through the lenses she came to call her eyes. She saw Naruto, sitting up at the hospital bed, bandaged, yet smiling. He was injured, yes, but even he would pay no heed to it. For he had succeeded. For Sasuke was back, recovering somewhere in the same unit. Everything would return to normalcy._

 _Sakura stood at the door, excitement coursing through her veins. She had already heard the news, but seeing them in person would mean much more than word of mouth. After Naruto, she would visit Sasuke. And after that, she would go home, breath out a sigh of relief._

 _Life would resume._

 _She smiled, for what felt like the first time today, letting an eye slip to watch through the slight crack of the door. It was as she had expected._

 _Everything was alright._

 _"Naruto?" She finally spoke, letting her presence be known. "Naruto, how are you?"_

 _And when the boy turned, and their eyes met, she saw the warmest, brightest smile she had ever seen. Something nothing but the utmost happiness, pride, and satisfaction could bring into fruition. Something special._

 _"I'm okay, Sakura-chan!"_

* * *

And yet in that instant, reality resumed its passage, and when Sakura readjusted her vision, she realized that she had once more lost count. Somewhere, sometime, without her even knowing, she had shifted the distribution of her weight. She would never ascertain the number of ripples that had been there before. But for some reason, she suddenly felt as if it was irrelevant. Like everything else before her. She looked again at the bedsheet, analyzing the pattern, this time her mind sharper, clearer. She counted four ripples. Exactly four.

Exactly one more than before.

 _I'm not afraid anymore._

To the right of her, Sakura faintly caught the noise of indistinct footsteps and chatter. Her parents were home. Surely, they must have heard something. Surely, this encounter would be anything but pleasant. Surely, this would be difficult to explain. But she had never felt this resolve before. So even when that door swung open, even when her parents, shrouded by the dark room were upon her, she didn't budge. For she knew. She knew before that door opened, knew before the footsteps had made their mark.

"Sakura?!"

"Sakura are you alright? We heard…"

 _No more._

Her eyes fluttered open, revealing to her the worried expressions of her parents. She saw shock. She saw worry. She saw confusion. She saw fear. But those weren't the things _she_ was feeling right now. She felt a new sense of renewal and a will to fight. Naruto may be dead. Sasuke may be gone. But to allow that to shackle her, to allow it to pin her down was not an option that she could follow through with. If not for herself, then for her fallen comrades.

For those who would still be there for her.

 _Ino._

She would continue to carry the beacon of hope for Konoha in their stead.

"Tou-san, Kaa-san, I have something to tell you."


	4. Reminiscence

" _Wounds don't heal the way you want them to, they heal the way you need them to. It takes time for wounds to fade into scars. It takes time for the process of healing to take place. Give yourself that time. Give yourself that grace. Be gentle with your wounds. Be gentle with your heart."_

 _For you deserve to heal._

 _Dele Olanubi_

Sakura switched on the shower, turning the temperature all the way up before beginning to strip out of her clothes. The house had aged, with pipes having seen better days, so it takes a long time until the water reaches a level of warmth that doesn't leave her shivering. It's not too bad though, so long as the average time required to heat up doesn't take someone by surprise.

Sakura neatly folded her clothes and placed them on the toilet, before turning one last time to gaze in the mirror. Already, the steam had started to condense on the modified glass. Her reflection in the mirror stared back at her blearily. She nonetheless still felt more awake than when she had first woken up though, owing thanks to her unplanned night nap.

There's a new feeling. It's something cardinal, something strong. As if guiding her footsteps into a new chapter of her life. An unplanned chapter, yet a new one nonetheless. But such an unplanned chapter, such an unplanned turn of events, had left her unsure of _how_ to take her next step. She thought she had it all planned.

In fact, even now, she _still_ felt like she did.

But it was an empty resolve. A shell of a resolve with no substance. Sakura wasn't sure of how to proceed. All she knew was that she wanted… no, that she _needed to_ keep moving forward. Keep fighting, and to never look back. There is always the fear of the unknown. It's normal, it's natural. To be afraid of what you couldn't see nor understand. It's neither rational nor irrational. It's a primitive instinct that on one hand could protect… or perhaps, on the other hand, _cripple_.

Sakura stuck out her hand to feel the water. Not warm enough, but not cold either, yet she nonetheless felt a shiver trace its way down her spine. The sudden change in temperature did not greet her well, as it would appear that life wouldn't either. _That_ , at least, must be rational. She had a genuine reason to be afraid. Even with her resolve renewed, the original question would still stand, would nevertheless hold true.

What would be the fate of Team 7? What would be _her_ fate?

Countless questions waiting to be answered, none of which she had a definitive response for.

Shivering, Sakura finally pulled back the curtain, gingerly holding out a hand. The water had finally reached a desired temperature. She stepped into the shower.

Last night, lying awake before slumber finally claimed her once more. She had listened to the sounds of the house, her own breathing, wondering what would have happened if Sasuke was still here. If her plea hadn't fallen on deaf ears. If he had listened, if he had conceded. Just replaying that scene, over and over, wishing that he had stayed, then wishing that she hadn't said those damn words, over and over until it hurt to think anymore. Then again and again until she no longer had the stamina to continue. Then again, hindsight is always 20/20.

This wasn't the ending that she had been expecting, of course. _No one had_. But the turn of events had left her wondering how much she _really_ knew Sasuke. She thought that she had him figured out, that she finally connected with the man who hid beneath the perpetual mask of stoicism. How wrong she had been. Her feelings must have been obvious to anyone else, to _everyone_ else. Anyone could have seen just how infatuated she was with him. But it wasn't the same, it would _never_ be the same as voicing, as _saying_ those damn words out loud.

In an instant, she regretted all of it. She remembered being upset at Sasuke's "first kiss" being stolen by Naruto. How ironic that she would regret professing her first love for the very same man.

So, she was faced with real choices now. Beyond the physical, beyond the obvious. There's the storyline of what she does next with her career. But there's also the other storyline, the romance one, the one she had perfectly envisioned, so vividly emblazoned in her mind. Had she been short-sighted? Had she failed to take the turn of events into account?

She didn't know, didn't want to face it right now. Surely it would come to her eventually. Surely, she would find the answers to questions that seemingly had no answer. All she had to do was keep moving forward, keep looking forward.

Sakura finally let the now hot water ease the tension out of her shoulders, her neck, letting her head fall forward so it rinses through each strand of pink hair and even if the water pressure isn't the best, it nonetheless soothes the ache, allowing her to relax. She closed her eyes, exhaling deeply. For just a moment she allowed herself to relinquish her thoughts, to just focus on the sound of the water, the way it feels on her skin, its glow-like warmth surrounding her.

The seconds must have turned to minutes, and she hadn't realized that she had spaced out. There's a sudden banging at the door, and its only then that reality resumes its passage once more. The water has become cold. She hastily shut it off, turning her attention to the door.

"What is it?" She asks.

Her mother's voice ringing loud from behind the thin material "Ino is here!" causing her to almost stumble. 

_Ino_. 

"Coming!" 

_That's right._

She wasn't alone in this. Naruto and Sasuke might be gone, but _she_ wasn't alone. That must surely mean something. Ino wouldn't forsake her in her time of need. And so surely, Sakura wouldn't either. Not anymore. She wouldn't repeat the same mistakes that she had made.

Hurriedly, she wiped her face with the towel, followed by the rest of her body in swift fashion. Moisture still clung to her skin like honey, yet she managed nonetheless. She counted back the days. Normally morning routine encompassed a much more complex, extended route.

But not today. She hadn't the mind nor the desire to.

Quiet, familiar steps led Sakura to the familiarity of the door. She could already see Ino's silhouette standing outside, behind the semi-translucent material. Sakura opened the door, her emerald pools resting on the figure that was Ino. She stood tall and confident… yet her eyes were different. Some element of depth, of sympathy, of empathy. Perhaps even ppity. But what exactly? Sakura could only wonder what Ino was thinking.

"Let's go."

They walked in silence. Road after road, leading them to places that they played on together as kids, shops that they had frequented as young children. The quiet bustle of village life filled her senses. Citizens everywhere, blissfully unaware of the struggle. Carrying on with life.

Suddenly, she realized she had no idea where they were headed.

"So… where are we going?" Sakura mused, trying her best to smile, to put on a brave face.

"Don't you remember?" Ino replied. As if she expected the question be rhetorical.

Puzzled, Sakura shook her head.

The blonde made a face. "Oh silly, come on. Where else would we go? Like old times…"

"Oh?"

* * *

The ground felt warm beneath her feet, a feeling that Sakura hadn't quite felt for a long time. The last time she had walked barefoot amidst the trees felt like a lifetime ago. Though things have changed, some for the better, some for the worse- the beauty of nature would not. She could still feel the warmth of the Spring sun, the quiet buzz of life, the soft song of the wind as she took in the grace of nature.

It felt… calming.

It's a feeling she hadn't felt for what felt like an aeons ago.

It's difficult not to get lost in the nostalgia and beauty of it all. With Ino walking by her side, never straying too far, walking on the soil where they first started their friendship. Though the years may have passed, that much has stayed.

It's… reassuring.

Sakura almost felt as if though she could smile.

"Hey, remember this flower?" Ino suddenly asks, gesturing towards petals of deep burgundy. Plain, unadorned and simple.

Yet there was some unfathomable beauty in its simplicity.

Of course, Sakura remembered. The Cosmos. A beautiful flower, orderly, ornamental. The flower that she once compared Ino to, an aeon ago. There were even more now than there had been years ago. Flowers spread over the meadow as far as the eye could see, each plain, simple, yet impossibly beautiful.

A paradise.

"Yes," Sakura finally nodded, a slight smile forming as she knelt towards the innocent flower, the song of the wind a nonstop, continuous symphony. A warm, mild scent filled her senses. The petals danced, helpless to the wind, helpless to nature. So vulnerable, so fragile…

Yet so beautiful.

"I said… That if you were a cosmo… Then I must be…" She paused, emerald eyes instinctively moving, resting upon several fujibakama flowers not too far. Her smile faltered, lips pressing into a tight line. "That I must be a fujibakama… An extra…"

There's a fluttering, fleeting moment of silence, filled only by the soft howling of the wind. Even fainter in the distance, one could hear wildlife. Sakura felt a strange sense of irony in seeing this scene again. She was so certain that she had overcome it. That she had progressed from bud, to fujibakama… and finally too her own person.

But now she wasn't so sure.

"Hey, Ino," she shuffled, turning her attention back to the blonde kunoichi.

"Hmm?"

"I… I don't think I ever thanked you properly," she whispered, emerald depths holding petals of light purple. "I…I mean I know we called ourselves rivals and all… but…" Sakura awkwardly smiled, leaving a confused Ino as to where this was going. "After seeing Naruto and Sasuke… I just… I don't know anymore. I mean… I know I misjudged Sasuke-kun… Sasuke. But is this what it means to be rivals? Does it… Does it have to require…?"

There was once more a hanging silence in the air as Sakura saw Ino tense up, for once lacking the confidence to answer without regrets, without doubts. It's a pressing question, and while Ino must have felt that she could answer it, none of it made sense anymore.

No one could have seen it ending this way. At least no person with their level of information. Sasuke might have been mysterious, the sole survivor of a clan whose name had been etched within Konoha history. He might have been a star student, the envy of all. But he wasn't a _killer_. He might have been a rival to another, but he wasn't a _murderer_.

Or, at least, that's what it felt like… Not too long ago.

How wrong. How very wrong.

It wasn't wholly rational- nothing really was, if Sakura was being honest to herself. It isn't what defines humanity, it wasn't what made each and every one of them different from one another. The world simply cannot be seen through the lenses of reasoning alone. It's a harsh fact, but it's still a _fact_. It seemed unreasonable, to expect that sometime down the line, that the same fate could befall all she had left.

That _her_ rivalry could turn sour.

Yet sometimes Sakura also had to remind herself though, because getting here, getting to the point where she was now, trial after trial was no easy feat. It's what made her unique from _him_. She hadn't the same experience. She hadn't any reason to expect the same outcome.

Yet it nonetheless scared her.

"There's a difference, Sakura," Ino finally spoke, softly clearing her throat. No waver, no doubt, no fear in her voice. "You and I… We… We just… aren't like him."

"But how do you know…?"

That had unexpectedly caught her off guard. Ino faltered for a second, before responding. "I… I don't know. I don't know for sure, and I never will."

"Then…" Sakura stared at her, biting her tongue as she once more locked her gaze on the petals of the flower before her. "I mean… alright…" she looked down and the last words she mumbled were so low that Ino couldn't have heard them properly.

But it didn't matter. She didn't need to speak. There had always been a certain warmth, a certain compassion in the way Ino hugged. There was the faint sensation of heartbeat against heartbeat, in the way those arms, that frame beheld comfort. They had rarely hugged as kids, most certainly even less now. But the passage of time wouldn't take the depth and weight of it away. Deep down, Sakura was still afraid. She had the resolve to continue, to venture into the future, but the _fear_ , the primordial emotion, was still there. She only knew that she had people to stand with her. That she had _Ino_.

She wasn't alone, and even through uncertainty, she would somehow persevere.

"Ino…" She breathed. "Thank you."

"Think nothing of it," Ino whispered. Gently breaking the hug, hands still gently grasping Sakura's shoulders. There was that bright, warm smile. Confident, cheery, brilliant. Like staring at the sun. Like staring at a guiding light.

Like staring at her savior.

"Let's get you through this," she murmured. "Don't you remember?"

"Remember what?"

"What else I said…" Ino let go, briefly glancing over at the cosmos that still laid innocently amongst the grass. "Don't you? That you'd bloom into a flower… even more beautiful than the cosmos." She smiled, gently picking it from the grass. "Don't give up, okay?"

This was a side to Ino that Sakura had long missed. A side that must have been locked away, buried beneath the bitter rivalry that she had started. Years ago, over the affections of a boy who was no longer with them. A side that she unknowingly, had forsaken for the sake of something else.

Something that she now knew to treasure, to cherish, to _love_.

"Hey, Sakura," Ino spoke, reaching absent-mindedly for something in her ninja pack. "I… I was thinking… I wanted to give this to you again…"

It was a ribbon.

It was the very same ribbon that Ino had given her, a lifetime ago. The very same ribbon that Sakura had returned to symbolize their friendship ending, in place a heated rivalry.

"But… I don't… Ino.." Sakura began.

But Ino held up her other hand. "I know. I know, it's silly…" She deliberated for a moment. "I know that you're no longer just that girl who followed me around. No longer the fujibakama to my cosmos. I know."

"Then…"

"I'm not giving this to you because I pity you. Not because I feel like I need to protect you," there was a distinct determination in her voice once more. No waver, no hesitation, no break. "I'm giving this to you again as a sign of a renewal of our friendship. A mark of that bond that will last. Proof of the promise that I'll make."

And for once in what felt like centuries, Sakura truly smiled. She felt the sun's radiance shine upon her, some peace. Yes… For once, she felt something else.

 _Ino… I've always wanted to believe that those words you told me would be true._ _I've always hoped that they were true, that they would become true. I wanted to be like you, my goal, my objective. It's because of that… because of you that I stand here today._

 _Always you._

* * *

 **In The Next Chapter:**

 _The doors leading to the Hokage's office swung open, as if for them and them_ only _. As if leading them to the path of a new chapter, waiting to be written, waiting to happen. There's a certain disquiet that lingers. One that neither Sakura nor Ino could have mistaken._

 _Duty concealing feelings._

 _One gaze into the woman who sat before her said it all. Her voice might not falter when she spoke, but her eyes couldn't possibly conceal everything. It just wasn't possible._

 _It was discomforting. Sakura knew in abstract what Naruto must have meant to Tsunade-sama. She knew, of course, but couldn't find the words to comfort her. It's bitter. How they have to be strong in the face of adversity. She's known this since her days in the Ninja Academy, reciting rule after rule, law after law. But knowing and_ really knowing _, are two entirely different things._

 _This was what it meant to be a Shinobi._

 _And then, Tsunade finally spoke._

" _In light of recent events, there's been a change of plans." She paused, gazing down at the paperwork before her. Hazel eyes like cold steel. "For both you and Ino."_

 _Her eyes rested on Sakura, the mention of it causing a shiver to trace its way down her spine, her stomach to churn._

" _We're going to need a roster change," Tsunade finally finished._


End file.
